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Global Warming:  A Parable - Phil's Rambling Rants — LiveJournal
December 14th, 2005
07:22 am


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Global Warming:  A Parable
Once there was a group of guys who lived together in a big old house.  Each of them had a regular chore he did to keep the house running.  George's chore was vacuuming the floors.  He had a good vacuum cleaner and he did a good job keeping the floors clean.  When the guys had dinner together, they always commented on how clean the floors were, and George (who was a little bit vain) was convinced his contribution to the house was more important than everyone else's, but he was proud of his clean floors.

One day at dinner, Fred mentioned in passing, "I wonder if we should have this place checked for termites.  It would be bad if we had termites."  George said, "I don't think there are termites in this area."  Nobody else was really worried.

But a couple of weeks later, Tom, who had the room over the old garage, brought it up again.  "If we have termites, my room over the garage will be the first to go.  The floor is weak already."  George said, "I'm sure we can't possibly have termites.  And we can't have an exterminator come in, because they'll make a big mess on my floors."  So they didn't do anything.

Another couple of weeks went by.  John and Sam said they'd been working in the basement, and they were pretty sure there were termites.  "There's these things that look like ants, but they're white.  There's a gazillion of 'em.  And there's a lot of sawdust all over the floor."  George continued to insist that termites are a myth, and refused to have a termite inspection.  Everyone else agreed that they had to do something about the termites, but George wouldn't listen.  Instead, he hid the phone book so that even though everyone else agreed they should do it, they couldn't call the exterminator.

A few weeks later, the whole house collapsed and they were all killed.  We can only wonder what George said to the others as they suffocated together in the rubble.  But at least he didn't have to vacuum the floors after any messy exterminators!


(3 comments | Leave a comment)

[User Picture]
Date:December 14th, 2005 01:27 pm (UTC)
I'm too literal minded. Why didn't they decide to do something without him sooner? Why didn't they ask to use the neighbor's phone book, or check on the internet? Why didn't they - *gasp* - simply move out, and leave George to his own devices?
Date:December 14th, 2005 04:52 pm (UTC)
Why, indeed.
[User Picture]
Date:December 14th, 2005 07:11 pm (UTC)
Hey, I wrote it while I should have still been asleep. I didn't want to say that George owned the house and so had the absolute right to veto the consensus of the others, because that's too much like the other George's attitude toward the world.
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