OK, this made me laugh so hard I have to tell somebody, and there's nobody in the house but a dog who doesn't speak much English, so LJ it is.
"You're standing there looking at the fountain like you was seeing a vision. Either that or trying real hard not to break wind."
"Hard to tell those things apart," said Alvin. "It gives visionaries a bad name."
"Get bad enough gas, though, and you can start a church," said Arthur Stuart.
-- The Crystal City, Orson Scott Card